I like the heroes in BioWare games (Hawke and Shepard) because although they’re special, they earned that special by being badass, they weren’t magically born to it just because Someone Said So. I don’t want to be the chosen one, I want to be bloody competent and have agency, dammit. But now we’ve arrived at the catacombs and I’ve received the Guild Seal (vague artifact is vague) and I’ve learned that I’m the most special special to ever special. I’m now trying to ignore the conspicuously heaving bosoms in every scene, or the butt-sway-sashay that I think is supposed to be my princess’s walk. Pause, resume later when I’ve become less angry. No? I have to hold his hand and be escorted through the garden? Well, I suppose that will have to do, then.
Rebellion, eh? I’m going to raze this town, kill my brother, and throw Elliot off a tower. (Yes, those are also the options for the prince, who is talking to a woman, instead of a man.) I don’t want to hug him. And my first interaction options are “Hug” and “Kiss”? Excuse me while I vomit.
Also, the next swooning maid to tell me how ravishing I look is going to get decapitated and have her head put on a pike. I can’t wait.Īnd that guard just said, “Your highness, you can always count on me to protect you.” I will kill him first, I think. I get to follow sparkles outside (although I’m pretty sure the prince has to follow sparkles, too). Because I already hate everyone in it, including myself, so I might as well – as the husband says – “double down.” Personally, I don’t give two rats titties what Master Elliot thinks. I am told that Master Elliot will approve. When not moving, my character cocks one hip suggestively and sways her impressive badonk (especially for a skinny white chick) while her breaths (and yes, she breathes) heave her bosoms up and down, up and down. My patronizing butler wakes me up, and I’m wearing pink, frilly pajamas with an enormous pink bow over my even more enormous boobs. But this time, the husband said, “You’re going to hate it anyway, so why not double down?” Okay, princess it is. Now, I usually default male as my avatar in games, and Fable III will immediately explain why. Resigning myself to royalty, I asked the husband, “Do I play a male or a female?” I would much rather be a soldier or a farmer or a common laborer if it’s going to be my fairytale. I start up the game and am immediately presented with the choice of Prince or Princess. I’ll give you a little wrap-up at the end of the post.
#Fable 3 prince or princess full#
This means you get the full impact of the experience my husband… er… “enjoyed” of me periodically talking back to my Xbox. Let’s see, where do I begin? How about, like all good fairytales, at the beginning?įor the sake of your amusement, dear reader, I chose to write this post while playing.
#Fable 3 prince or princess free#
Namely, because I downloaded the free digital copy, so there wasn’t anything TO throw out the window. Continued abuse of our services will cause your IP address to be blocked indefinitely.By Kristin fan culture gaming internet culture Please fill out the CAPTCHA below and then click the button to indicate that you agree to these terms. If you wish to be unblocked, you must agree that you will take immediate steps to rectify this issue. If you do not understand what is causing this behavior, please contact us here. If you promise to stop (by clicking the Agree button below), we'll unblock your connection for now, but we will immediately re-block it if we detect additional bad behavior.
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